Just like that

Ok so after all of my ranting, life has returned to the way it should be. :)  My daughter's relationship with her boyfriend has been restored and we are a family again.  Just like that - no crazy talking it to death.  Back to normal.  I guess as an over-thinking adult I don't understand how it feels to be young. haha.

Also, after a year and a half of bad news and delays, my house is selling.  Just like that.  No big fanfare, just moving through the steps, finally, and it feels weird. We're buying a house that is being built and its going to just fit our family.  I've been trying to declutter and pack in an organized way.

Life is flying by and every holiday is a fresh reminder.  Yesterday at the family get-togethers the kids that used to be running around playing were with their girlfriends/boyfriends on the sofa watching movies.  It happens folks, when you turn your head your kids grow up.  Now planning their own weddings, instead of their next birthday party.  And we aren't looking any younger, or our parents.

It's easy to let these feelings consume me.  I have to constantly be fighting against them, reminding myself to enjoy each moment and day.  I want to age with quiet dignity and no fear of the future.  We only get one trip through and I don't want to have any regrets. 

Proverbs 31:25
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

Moving on.

Life is moving on.  We have begun packing, finished our fostering classes, and are emotionally moving on after my daughter's breakup.  It looks like we will be selling our house to the parish soon.  The grant program is moving slowly but surely toward the beginning of January.

I feel like a huge chapter of my life is ending.  It is actually.  When I moved here I was a young 26 year old and now I'm 43.  I've spent a long time here.  I've had a few waves of sadness, but also some excitement.  Mostly I'm just numb lol.  It's like when you talk about something forever and then when it happens it doesn't feel real.

I truly am thankful for all the blessings in my life and I am praying that He continue to lead us and show us His will.

Psalm 42:11

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Good morning :)

I'm choosing to have faith to believe that this week will be miraculous :).  I'm going to stand on the Word of God -

Psalm 98:1
O sing unto the Lord a new song; for he hath done marvelous things: his right hand and his holy arm hath gotten him the victory.

and -

I Cor. 16:13-14
Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love.

Dating games

I have 3 teenagers (18, 16, 13).  My other child is 7.  I have always dreaded this time, for good reason.  This is usually the time when you are drawn to the person you will end up spending the rest of your life with.  I made some mistakes when I was in this process myself, so I figured I would have motherly wisdom when we made it to dating.

My oldest daughter(18) is amazing and she was very accepting of my wanting to do things differently than I did.  We always talked about how we don't believe in serious dating and then breaking up.  Once that happens, you have already given something of yourself away.  Something that was meant for only one person.  I'm not really talking about physical intimacy, because my kids want to wait until marriage for that.  I'm talking about emotional intimacy.  And that is a precious thing.  It is part of what is joined when 2 people become one.  You know the other person so well you could order for them and finish their sentences.  After a while you even know what they are thinking.  I believe that when God designed us, he meant for us to share this part of ourselves with only one person.

So, she was almost 17 and was asked to go on a date.  We were very careful-her dad and I.  He asked us for permission and we said yes.  We really got to know him then and he spent a lot of time with our family.  We talked about what we believe and actions speak loudly- he was very respectful and treated our daughter well.  We did everything together and he began to feel like a part of the family in every way.  We honestly were expecting to be making wedding plans within a year.

It ended so fast I don't even know what happened.  I know he said he heard from God about this and that he still loves her and if God wants them back together, he will show them.  Ok. Really?  That's a problem for me.  I have prayed about this relationship EVERY day for over a year.  Why wouldn't God have said something to me?  I am the Mother for goodness sake.  I'm mad because we were trying to do this honorably and there were no signs of trouble.  None.  At. All.  So now our daughter is emotionally invested in this relationship, and honestly so are we.  I'm not stupid, I know that anyone who really feels like they love someone does not leave them and cut all ties and God does not tell them to.  I'm torn and honestly feel a little betrayed by God.  If he knew it would end this way, why let my child fall so hard with no bad feelings about the relationship?  For over a year?

I guess I'm angry because we can have strong convictions, pray and act on them in the most God-honoring way possible, and still experience the extreme hurt of breakup. It doesn't seem fair to blame it on God - who was committed to us even before we accepted His sacrifice for us. 

I Cor. 13:7:8
...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...