I have 3 teenagers (18, 16, 13). My other child is 7. I have always dreaded this time, for good reason. This is usually the time when you are drawn to the person you will end up spending the rest of your life with. I made some mistakes when I was in this process myself, so I figured I would have motherly wisdom when we made it to dating.
My oldest daughter(18) is amazing and she was very accepting of my wanting to do things differently than I did. We always talked about how we don't believe in serious dating and then breaking up. Once that happens, you have already given something of yourself away. Something that was meant for only one person. I'm not really talking about physical intimacy, because my kids want to wait until marriage for that. I'm talking about emotional intimacy. And that is a precious thing. It is part of what is joined when 2 people become one. You know the other person so well you could order for them and finish their sentences. After a while you even know what they are thinking. I believe that when God designed us, he meant for us to share this part of ourselves with only one person.
So, she was almost 17 and was asked to go on a date. We were very careful-her dad and I. He asked us for permission and we said yes. We really got to know him then and he spent a lot of time with our family. We talked about what we believe and actions speak loudly- he was very respectful and treated our daughter well. We did everything together and he began to feel like a part of the family in every way. We honestly were expecting to be making wedding plans within a year.
It ended so fast I don't even know what happened. I know he said he heard from God about this and that he still loves her and if God wants them back together, he will show them. Ok. Really? That's a problem for me. I have prayed about this relationship EVERY day for over a year. Why wouldn't God have said something to me? I am the Mother for goodness sake. I'm mad because we were trying to do this honorably and there were no signs of trouble. None. At. All. So now our daughter is emotionally invested in this relationship, and honestly so are we. I'm not stupid, I know that anyone who really feels like they love someone does not leave them and cut all ties and God does not tell them to. I'm torn and honestly feel a little betrayed by God. If he knew it would end this way, why let my child fall so hard with no bad feelings about the relationship? For over a year?
I guess I'm angry because we can have strong convictions, pray and act on them in the most God-honoring way possible, and still experience the extreme hurt of breakup. It doesn't seem fair to blame it on God - who was committed to us even before we accepted His sacrifice for us.
I Cor. 13:7:8
...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...
No comments:
Post a Comment